Friday, 25 October 2013

The Man Who Was Saved By Birds

Here is my edited version for my narrative.

“Ohhh Man!” Jack said. Once there lived an old man named Jack who owned a farm. He was starting to die because he was getting so frail.  So he went for a long journey to Colour Land and went to go plant his last plant in his lifetime. He walked for 16 hours just to get somewhere to plant his last plant. “Wow!” Jack cried as he looked at the beautiful scenery. When he looked down the cliff he saw heaps of awesome flowers different colours.

After looking at the view Jack was looking for a place to plant his plant. Jack decided to chose to plant it at the end of the cliff. He finally planted and slipped of the cliff. “WhoaHhhh!” Jack screamed as he flew down faster than ever to the ground. Jack knew it was over. “So this is the way it ends,” Jack wept.

Birds saw him and flew down to him as fast as they could to save him. He was just about to hit the ground when the birds caught him and flew him back up the cliff. He safely landed at the top of the cliff. The birds chirped to try wake him up but couldn’t. Unfortunately he was dead. The birds cried as they thought that they killed him but they didn’t. Poor man but he was old and had to die. DUN DUN DUN!

1 comment:

  1. Hi son,
    What an interesting story you have posted! Poor old man, did he have a name? How do you think his family felt when they heard the sad news? Keep up the great work!
    love Mum